When getting divorced, some parents decide to keep as much information as they can away from the children, believing that they are protecting them from a stressful adult situation. Others decide to tell the children all of the details, believing that full honesty is the best policy, even if the children are young.
What you tell your children is up to you, of course. All families are different and all children are different. There is no right or wrong answer, at least not in the sense that it can apply to everyone equally.
That said, perhaps the biggest thing that you should tell them is that you love them. This is one reason that it is wise to break the divorce news together. You want a chance for both you and your spouse to stress that unconditional love to the children at the same time. You don’t want them to feel like they have to choose one side over the other.
Additionally, you do not want the children to think that they caused the divorce. Remember, even if it is clear and obvious to you that the kids had nothing to do with the divorce, many tend to assume so anyway. You should stress to them repeatedly — even when you think they should already know — that it is in no way their fault.
As a parent, your goal needs to be helping the children move through the process and adjust to their new life. You want to find the best child custody solution and ensure that they’re happy. To do this, take the time to consider all of the options you have and how to proceed.